[00:00:00] Welcome to another episode of the So Here For It podcast. I am your host, Amy Mingin and it is a pleasure to have you here today. Today I'm going to be talking all about the lessons from Bali. I have recently run a women's retreat, women in business retreat, over in Bali. And I do this twice a year.
So if you're keen to know dates for the next one, I'm going to put info into the show notes, so make sure you have a look at that. Otherwise you can reach out to me and we can have a chat about it. And today I want to talk more about how this trip was the best ever, and the reasons why. Cause I don't know if you've been to Bali or how many times you've been to Bali, it delivers a different experience every single time.
Like people say that they go there for a holiday. Some people say they go there to relax. Some people go there for adventure. Some people will go there to go shopping. It's really great for so many different reasons. And the main reason I love running retreats over in Bali is [00:01:00] because of the hospitality. There's something so, so beautiful about the Balinese culture and how their love language is acts of service.
And I love this because when I'm over there I am in service to my retreat guests. Absolutely. But also it's not just about me going and emptying my cup being of service, right. Every single time I'm running an event, I'm also filling up my cup. So it's not about me emptying it, it's about me running from my overflow. And I wanted to let you know how I do this, because this is an art form. I haven't always been able to do this, but I feel like I've nailed it now. So I want to share it with you.
Now, first and foremost, when you go to Bali, I'm going to say the first lesson is the more organized you can be, the more you can be relaxed. Because things happen over there, they take a lot longer. Like here in Australia it feels like things are a lot more [00:02:00] fast paced. And there's nothing wrong with the pace of Bali, by the way. But sometimes it takes like that first 24 to 72 hours to really get used to the pace of the place. Like, it feels like the gravity over there it makes everyone a little slower. It's a total different frequency than here in Australia, and I think it serves a lot of people to go there and to enter into the slower island life.
Now, if you're not organized, it can come as a little bit of a shock. You know, you might have a long wait to line up in a line. For example, you might have a long wait to wait for a driver. There's lots of different things. So I find that the more organized you can be, the more you can relax because it's all there and ready. And you might have to pay a little bit more for that, but it's so worth it.
So organization is key. Like organize whatever you possibly can before you go. And it makes it such an easy trip.
Now, the next thing is, it leads me to the next [00:03:00] thing where you don't always get what you want, but you always get what you need. So a lot of people will call Bali, 'Mama Bali'. And the reason for this is, you think about a mum. A mum is super nurturing. But a mum will tell it like it is. If you hit a boundary you will get, like, you'll get told, right? Like, don't do that, that's enough. So some people go to Bali and they get a bit of a kick up the butt. But some people go to Bali and they have huge, massive realizations. And then others just get this amplification of exactly who they are. They get this beautiful surrender experience. They get like the the heart crack open experience. And I would say that this particular trip that I've been on, like I've been there 12 times. So it's like, there is a lot of times that I've been there and I feel like I did get the kick up the butt. Because I would go into the trip unorganized, a little bit distracted, feeling like I was half in and half [00:04:00] out because I had little kids. And this time, because the kids are older, we've done it so many different times. My husband is so great with the kids. I can leave them all at home and feel so great about it. I can also get myself so organized that things go really well. And I know how long things take. So I allow for that time. And I know the sorts of things that people are going to come up with while they're on retreat with me, while they're in different experiences. So I feel like I'm well prepared for that now. And so when something comes up for someone I might have a process or a certain way of knowing what to do when that person is about to go through those things, as opposed to, prior to that, it was like, oh, Okay, this is coming up for this person. And what resources do I have in order to help them through it?
Or is it simply a space holding exercise. And that's what I really got to learn this time is that people sometimes [00:05:00] think that they're broken. And what I am here to help you realize is you're not broken. There's nothing in you that needs to be fixed. And even with the people around you, who you might be having issues with at any time, they're not broken either and nothing in them needs to be fixed.
This is always more of you that gets to be integrated. So it's always about you noticing the aspect of yourself. And saying, okay I get to learn to be okay with this part of me. I get to learn to be more accepting of myself. And me as the facilitator, as the space holder, I allow for that experience to move through you. So some people in the audience will have known me from my personal development days, where I would be in courses for NLP and I'd be like helping run the show there and be one of the leaders. And anyone who's done NLP knows that that it's very scripted, it's very process-based, it's very like [00:06:00] fix yourself. Whereas what I've learned, like I've done a full circle moment. And I feel like what's happened now is in order for someone to have the realization, it has to come from internal. In order for them to feel like they're moving forward, they can be asked a question, but it's always that next step of action always has to be internal from them. If they feel like they have to move through something or they have to fix something, then often the change isn't long lasting because they think that there's something wrong with them. Innately. And instead of you thinking that there's something wrong with you, particularly on retreat, I hold this space for you to realize that there's actually nothing particularly wrong with you it's about you learning to accept those different parts of yourself. And it's just the most profound nurturing and homecoming experience for the women who come on retreat with me. So that was a really big one. Also that's the way I do breathwork. So if I'm holding a breathwork event, which there are some local ones coming up on the gold coast, [00:07:00] by the way. So I'll keep you informed in that. Keep an eye on my socials.
The thing about space holding during breathwork, I have been in some breathworks where people have touched me and not touched me. And sometimes I wanted it to be touched and sometimes I didn't. And I am the type of person who is always encouraging my clients, the people who work with me, to step into their own self-leadership, to step into their own self-responsibility, but also this is a self healing process.
No one ever gets to this point where it's like, I am healed. It's a, I get to know these parts of myself, I get to accept these parts of myself, and I get to move through it. So bringing it around to breathwork, sometimes inside breathwork there's the facilitators that might feel a little bit uncomfortable with people processing their stuff. But can you see that the moment that that facilitator decides to touch that person it takes them out of their experience and it makes them think, oh, there's something wrong because someone else is touching me. Or [00:08:00] they might think that they always need someone else there in order to process something. And there's nothing wrong with asking for help. This is not what I mean. What I mean is what would happen if you realized that you have this opportunity to step into who you truly are. And you took that self-leadership position. And that's what I'm all about, I'm all about you becoming more empowered with the decisions that you make. And the way that you feel about yourself. So that's an exciting thing that's up and coming. So that's really great too. We did lots of yoga and breathwork and it was about holding the space for whatever was coming up for the women on each day and it wasn't heavily spiritual and it also wasn't unspiritual. So it's when people say what happens on retreat, it's just like you get to experience whatever it is that you need to experience and you want to experience, and it can be as spiritual or not spiritual as you wish. Because you'll always get what you need. In every single space that I [00:09:00] hold, you always get what you need. So that is the next one.
So the other thing that I want to talk about here is the more you can surrender into this, so the surrendering, so be organized, you always get what you need not necessarily what you want, but there's a surrender aspect to this. Now, the surrender is such an interesting one because I think a lot of women really struggle with it. I know I have in the past. And the surrender, it should not be described as giving up. So sometimes there's a giving up energy feeling to it, like you have to admit defeat, but it's not that. Surrender is like being unbothered. Oh, that's happened, I'm going to surrender to that. As opposed to, I really wanted that to happen now I'm going to give up. Okay. It's a different feeling to it. So it's nuanced. I want you to consider if you were to surrender into a hammock, how would you surrender into a hammock? Feel that? That's the sort of thing that I'm [00:10:00] talking about. If you surrendered the outcome, you can still have a positive awareness around what you want. You can still have a positive awareness around the goal that you've set, for example, or the path that you're on. But a true surrender is, you're not attached to the way that it happens. So I like to think about a goal, like we have a path, a really clear path, and we always have faith that we're headed toward that goal, but what happens is things happen in front of us.
So it's like you're walking along your path and then all of a sudden, a tree falls in front of you. How are you going to get through the tree, around the tree? Do you need a chainsaw? What are you going to do? Someone comes running out in front of you. It's a distraction. Oh my gosh, it's a new relationship. What are you going to do? So along our path, we learn the different things so that we can get to the goal. The goals just don't randomly exist, and then we randomly get them. Nothing is random in this. It's all about learning and it's all about experiencing and it's all about then integrating that into your experience so then you get [00:11:00] to move to the next level.
The thing about surrendering is when you're not expecting things to go a particular way, any which way, you get to actually be present and in your body and feel safe. And you actually get to enjoy it. Like, there's a huge thing that really came through for me prior to going over to Bali. And it was like, I was getting a bit stressed one day cause there were a lot of logistics that I needed to sort out. And they're those sorts of logistics, like just before a wedding, there were some things that like you just can't do until the last minute. And it's totally fine. And I was getting them done, but I felt a bit stressy and I was like, hang on a minute, what if I just decided right now I'm going to enjoy this.
And it sounds like the most simple thing ever. But I want you to notice the feeling in your body if you say this to yourself. Just go, what if right now, I decided to enjoy this. And it brings such a presence to you, it brings your fight or flight into [00:12:00] a more calm and present state. And even if you were feeling a little bit apprehensive, it actually helps to calm you down. So I want you to say that to yourself more regularly. What if I enjoyed this? What if I could enjoy it? Because it helps you get through the resistance, but it also helps you get through the overwhelm or any sort of like fight, flight, freeze response. So give that a go. I found that to be really, really helpful. And I think that was key to me, really, really enjoying this particular experience.
Now the last thing that I wanted to say around this is how important alone time is. And I don't want you to think about it being lonely. It's choosing to be alone, to be in your own space, to contemplate what's going on for you and the things around you. Because one of the women said this. I said on the last day, I was like, does anyone have any feedback, I'm super open? And one of them said, I literally [00:13:00] feel like I've been here for three weeks, and it's only been four nights and four days. She goes, how did you do that? And the thing is, all of my experiences are always curated. I always think it through and organize as much as I can. But I do the one thing that allows for enough alone time, so they can contemplate and they can process in their own time. But also importantly, this is a really important thing to me, is that they get to experience things without it having to always be in their conscious mind all the time.
So I do a lot of processes, very subtly with them, with the words that I speak, with the exercises that we do, with the activities that we do. Like there's so much that goes into a retreat. But to the person who's experiencing it, it literally feels like the most effortless thing in the world. And that's the way I want you to experience it. So that's why she's like, some days felt really fast, but then there was always so much [00:14:00] time and it's like, imagine how much time is available to you when you're super present with it, when you're actually invited to enjoy it.
And that's what it was about. Enjoying every morsel of food. Enjoying the fresh coconuts each day, enjoying the yoga poses, enjoying the breath, enjoying jumping into the pool, enjoying the sunshine on your skin. Like there's so many different aspects. Oh, one more enjoying thing, because this was really good, is walking into the air-con when you go into your bedroom. There's nothing quite like it. So I want you to consider how often you're allowing yourself alone time. Because this alone time even if it was half an hour here and half an hour there, it was a very, very important part that I actually scheduled into the retreat. So that they all could go to their rooms. And contemplate. And catch up with just being themselves.
Now, this is a really important thing that I don't think enough people do. You think, [00:15:00] if you're waiting in line for your coffee, you're probably on your phone. If you're walking on the beach, you might be listening to a podcast. If you're in the car, you might be listening to music. If you're in the house, you might have the kids or husband around or the dog, like, so think about how often you're actually not alone when you think you're alone. And I want you to consider how you you can schedule in some alone time each day. Because I heard this by someone, I can't remember who said it the other day, but it was really, really potent. And they said the people who are most committed to their personal growth and the people who really get somewhere with their nervous system are the ones who allow some personal reflection time each day. And I, and I was like, well, that's why the retreats work so well.
That's why this personal growth is so important to me because I get up a little bit earlier than my family. So I get a bit of alone time then. And I also stay up maybe half an hour later than them. So I get an extra hour to myself each day. And this is what's really important to me [00:16:00] because that gives me my pondering time. It's a big creativity time. It's a big sigh of relief some days. And other days it's a big inspiration. But if I didn't have that time, I wouldn't have the space in my mindset. I wouldn't have the space in my body. In order to continually grow because everything would feel like it's just stacking on top of each other.
So I want you to consider this for yourself and bring some alone time into your day and bring that self reflection into your day. And these are all of the main lessons that I got from Bali. So I hope you've really enjoyed it. Because when you step into these sorts of spaces, it really does allow you to be in your feminine and a lot of women, whilst they could dress in pretty dresses, whilst they can wear their hair out, get their hair done, have their nails done, all of that, a lot of women are still living in the masculine, in the doing, doing, doing. In the constant achievements. And I know like, [00:17:00] this is very much a me thing too. Like us allowing the space to receive, the space to ask for help, the space to be in our feminine. And this is a really, really powerful part of our life, our business and our personal growth. So if you allow this in and let it really land, I hope that you've got so much out of this episode today.
And I'm so grateful to be in your ears and to be sharing this with you. Please share this on your socials. Share with a friend, share with someone what you got out of this. It helps me reach more women just like you and I am so appreciative of sharing this episode with you today. And stay tuned for more next week.
