[00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to another episode of the So Here For It podcast. I am your host, Amy Mingin, and I'm so excited to talk to you today about how to shift anything, fast. Now, you've probably heard of the Jim Rohn quote, you become the five people who you hang out with the most. This has really changed because when he first said that, he was around those people all the time.
So you think about, like, people go to work and they're influenced by the people at work. But think about it these days, how often are you on your screen? And who are you subscribing to and consuming from every single day? Who are you plugging into? Because that is who is influencing you the most. Now if there's something that's a little bit of a brain rot moment for you right now, you know what? Maybe you could give that a little bit of space and choose something different.
A long while ago, maybe a couple of years ago, somebody had said to me, make your Instagram [00:01:00] like a moving vision board. And I was like, but I want to follow my friends. I want my friends to know that I'm supporting them. And you know what? You can still do that. But have a look at what you're consuming, what you're creating and what comes out the other side. Like, are you going on your phone to utilize social media for social media sake, i. e. you're being social? Or are you getting on there to vague out? Are you getting on there to pacify yourself, to self soothe?
There's a huge, huge difference. So that's one area that we're going to talk about today. Another area that we're going to talk about is your environment because your environment is the quickest thing. Like I'm going to give you the key right now. Your environment is the key to you feeling more calm, at ease, expansive, and also the opposite - feeling out of control, feeling [00:02:00] contracted, feeling scarce.
And I want you to consider how do those two things overlap, the way that your behaviors are, either when you're in person with people, other people who you're hanging out with who don't make you feel good. That you feel obligated to do things with or for. And then think about the people who you could spend hours with them and your cup remains full.
You want to think about the people who are actually like plugging into you rather than reciprocating with you. And what I mean about that, you think about you give, you receive, you give, you receive, and you want to live your life this way. Like this is the thing. If your environment is not nourishing you, then we need to switch environments.
This is part of the reason why I run events, why I run retreats, why I do in person things as well as online things, because we need to rub shoulders with different people and different environments. It's one of the fastest ways to get into transformation. Personal growth is something that I am so, so obsessed [00:03:00] with, and most people I hang around with are also obsessed with personal growth.
And it doesn't mean that we're like shaming ourselves into personal improvement. We're constantly learning things and applying them to our lives. Like, what use is the information that you consume unless you're going to use it? I love adding things to my repertoire so that I can share it with you guys, so I can share it with clients, so I can talk about it with my husband and talk about it with my friends.
And the great thing about having a reciprocal style relationship with people around you is you both get the chance to add things to the conversation. It doesn't come from a black and white, right or wrong lens. It comes from a, Here's the topic we're talking about, let's all add to the conversation. So I want you just to consider if you were to start having more conversations like that, how would you actually feel?
Would you feel more supported? Would you feel more expansive? Would you feel like you actually did have an opinion on things and you had something valuable [00:04:00] to add to conversations? And if not, it's totally okay. There are so many books and podcasts and really worthwhile things that are out there. And please message me on social media if you want me to hand you over like my top five book list because I give it to everyone inside Woman of Value, inside my mastermind.
They have the most profound shifts, like some of them join it early. They joined the super early bird and they're in the group chatting away for a couple of months before the calls actually start. And one of them went from $300 weeks. She still hadn't even had a session with me yet. She just went in and downloaded the books to listen to, and she started doing work on herself. And by the time we got to have the first call, she was already making three and a half thousand dollars a week. Like, how is that for profound?
So, this is available to you. She changed her environment. She decided to up level. She decided to get in with a group of women who were also wanting to improve themselves.[00:05:00]
And like I said, your improvement doesn't need to come from a place of pain or feeling sick of yourself or feeling like nothing's going to change if nothing changes. Like there's, there's a lot of negative reasons why people decide to change. I want you to instead have a look forward. And go, what is it that I really want?
What is it that I desire? What am I moving towards? Because once you know what you're moving towards, it is a different motivator. Instead of having fear of what's behind you, you have this awe and anticipation of what is happening in front of you and what you're moving toward. And that's exactly what this lady did inside the mastermind.
So if you want more info about that, please message me. I've just gone to waitlist. It will be waitlist for a little bit. So don't worry if you've missed out on this cohort. It's totally fine. There will be a new cohort, but message me. You can jump on the waitlist and you'll be first to know as soon as early bird opens [00:06:00] up.
Now something else that I find that shifts things really, really quickly is instead of being in an environment, regardless of whether you are extroverted or introverted. It doesn't matter what human design you are. It doesn't matter if you know your natal chart or not, astrology wise. Time by yourself is absolutely the most important thing. Time by yourself.
Otherwise, how do you possibly know what you think about anything? How do you know that the thought that goes through your head is actually yours? Because most of the time it's not, unless you give yourself the time to contemplate. Like, what do I think about what I think about? And I say that often to people who work with me.
They're like, Oh, I want to find my authentic voice. And I say, you need to know what you think about this. I can't tell you how to think. I can pose some questions that will have you think, but you need to think about what you think about things. So this helps you create opinions, [00:07:00] ideas, and it helps you create new versions of reality for yourself because your current version of reality is built because of your past experiences, because of your current belief patterns, because of your current behaviors.
If you want to change it, sometimes that requires a little bit of contemplation, where have I been, where do I want to go and how do I think about what I think about? Most people have no idea that their thoughts are thinking for them. And I know I said, think and thought a lot in those last few sentences, but I want you to give yourself the space and it doesn't necessarily mean that you meditate.
You literally could do this how I like to do it because it has a neuroscience background to it. I will sit on one of the steps outside and I just let my eyes go into a peripheral vision. So you kind of let your eyes go a little bit less focused. And so you can see more out to the sides of your head and you take deep breaths.
And what this actually does, cause I've got lots [00:08:00] of trees around me, so I'll just stare out into the trees. My eyes are not focused on anything in particular. Often I'll have a big yawn with it. That shows me that my nervous system is relaxing. It shows that my parasympathetic nervous system is stepping in, but also what it actually helps to do is it decreases noradrenaline, which is one of the stress hormones.
It keeps us focused, 100%, but sometimes it's actually really handy for our nervous systems to go into parasympathetic. In fact, most people will try and say, Oh, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm not stressed that often. It's not about not being stressed. It's about how quickly can you recover after you do get stressed.
And these are the types of tools that I teach people. You want to be able to regulate yourself. You want to be able to respond to life rather than react to it. So give yourself the time and space. It might be five minutes or 10 minutes here. I like to sit in the sun. I like to stare out into the trees and I like to take a big yawn and a few deep breaths and then just let [00:09:00] the thought come to me and then consider what do I think about that thought?
Lots of different things will flow into your mind and often they're not your thoughts. They're not your, they're not what you want to think. And so you get to be the driver in the driver's seat and bring to the front of your mind, what is it that you want to think about? What is it you've been avoiding thinking about?
What is it that somebody has said to you that you would like to consider? Because most of the time when there's conversations happening, you're reacting. Most of the time. 90 something percent of the time we are responding or reacting from our unconscious mind based on previous experiences, previous behaviors.
Wouldn't it be nice if you were calmer in your body and you could respond to your life? Wouldn't it be nice if you were more intentional with the words that you say? Wouldn't it be nice if you could articulate clearly a response to somebody? So a lot of people will say, how do you [00:10:00] speak so clearly? How do you speak so eloquently?
How do you articulate things in such detail and make it so tangible? Well, partly it's because my Virgo's in Mercury, but also it's because I have practiced. I know what I think about what I think about and I reserve the right to change my mind at any time, which means I am open minded. So there's one thing about wanting to have personal growth and then creating an opinion on something or having a belief around something, and then being malleable and being flexible enough to consider something new. Because we get to create ourselves. We get to create our new identity at any time.
It might take a bit before we actually believe that we are that new identity, but if you never consider what you consider, how on earth do you change? You're literally being thought, like something is having the thought for you and it ain't you. It's your old programs.
So if you want something new, [00:11:00] start considering things. And this is really different to how I would normally talk to you. And this has come off the back of speaking on stage last weekend. One of the guys, Roscoe, really great guy, super incredible entrepreneur, has made like tens, maybe hundreds of millions, I think it's tens of millions, through different tech ventures, involved with alt coins, crypto, all these different things that I don't have a lot to do with, but, you know, I find it interesting because the more I find out about the world, the more I can hold conversations with people like that. Right?
Like how often do you put yourself in a room where you might feel like a bit of the small fish? Like that is brilliant. It means that you get to have conversations about things that you don't know a lot about and it doesn't mean that you necessarily have an opinion yet, and it certainly doesn't mean that you have to take on everything that that person is saying as gospel, but the one thing I got from Roscoe is this... give yourself time to think. Most people do not think. Their thoughts think for [00:12:00] them. And I was like, ah, it's like the breath. That was my instant thought. Most people are not aware of their breath. Which means that they're not aware of their body, which means that they're missing all of those beautiful messages that are coming through to them at any given time.
And what's most important is that we are responsive, that we are receptive. Because if we're not responsive and we're not receptive, then often somebody's playing out scarce patterns, they're stuck in the negativity bias, and of course they're going to think the same way that they've always thought. Just like Joe Dispenza says, if we don't start thinking differently, if you don't start feeling differently, 97 percent of what happened yesterday is going to be exactly the same the next day.
And it's like, as soon as I heard him say that, I'm just like, that is the most boring thing that I ever have considered. I want to bring more variety into my life. And that's when I started taking my personal development really seriously, and I look into new things every single day and I'll be on something for a bit [00:13:00] and I will talk about it for a bit and some people will be like, Oh, that's very like, you know, jack of all trades, master of none.
I'm like, no, not at all. It makes me worldly. Like anyone can talk to me on a podcast about most things and I will be able to talk about most things. I don't think many people can do that. And it's only because I've explored interests, I've explored books, I've explored talking to people who I think are interesting. I've explored uncomfortable areas, things that are a bit taboo. And so I want this to come across to you. If you want to have a shift, it's actually really simple. Just do something different, think something different, hang out with someone new instead of hanging around the people that are somewhat familiar and safe.
It doesn't mean that you have to cut them off. But what it does mean is doing something different. It's really, really important. The other thing that I want to say here, before I wrap up, is it's really important to [00:14:00] know the difference between doing and being. And I spoke about this in my speech last weekend.
A lot of people get stuck in the doing. They want success. So they absolutely have to squeeze everything out of what they're doing. They think that productivity is the only way forward. What we practice inside woman of value is this beautiful dance between the being and the doing.
So if you've done something, then you say, okay, what's next? I say, you get to celebrate and you get to take the rest of the day off. And most of the time they're, they're like, what? And they're hesitant to actually celebrate themselves. They don't know how to celebrate themselves. I had to learn how to celebrate myself too. And I'll share with you what I shared with them yesterday.
There is a story, which is like an ancient proverb, the story of a man and a guide. And they were climbing this mountain. And then once they climbed all through the night to get there for sunrise, they saw the sunrise. It was [00:15:00] beautiful. It was magical. And then the clouds parted. And from the top of that mountain, he could see the next mountain.
And he says to the guide, what's that mountain over there? And he said, Oh, it's such and such, told him the name. And he goes, I think I'll do that one next. And he goes, what if you actually enjoyed the mountain that you're standing on right now?
And that is brilliant because it does, it teaches us to be in the moment. It teaches us to actually notice how far we've come. To slow down enough to be in the new identity, because if you're constantly doing, doing, doing, talking to all of you high achieving, motivated people, the work, the hardest work is actually learning to rest. Is actually learning to just be calm and be present in the moment.
There is no rush. There's no such thing as being behind. There's no such thing as not being on time. You're always on time. [00:16:00] Like, you're always, always on time. Everything's always working out for you. And I want you to start saying that to yourself, that everything's working out for me, because you won't know until you're at the top of the mountain that you're actually at the top of the mountain.
So start enjoying it. Like life is here to fully be experienced. If you still feel like you're in the experimental phase and you're looking for the answer. The answer is being present, being present with what is happening in your body, being present with all of your five senses, being present for the lessons and the patterns that are coming up for you.
Like we are in a nine year, which is where cycles come up and they literally get presented to you and you're like, what, why is this pattern here again? I thought I was over it! Yet maybe you are. But maybe this time you get to fully integrate it. Maybe this time you fully set that boundary with that person or that situation, or you fully let go of that thing that isn't serving you.
So change your environment. Learn to be, which [00:17:00] is be present. Celebrate yourself. Celebrate how far you've come. Learn to put yourself in rooms where you get to grow, or could be spaces or tables where you get to grow and be around new people. And ask questions that might seem to you like an innocent, silly question, but to them, they get to answer you, you get to become a little more worldly and also you get to learn a little bit more and become that little bit more embodied by hanging out with somebody new.
So I hope you've enjoyed this episode as much as I have. Thank you for having me in your ears. If you would love to rate and review this, oh my gosh, it would help me to reach so many more people just like you. So please share it on your social media. Let me know what you got out of the episode. Just go to the rating if you're inside Spotify and hit five stars.
If you think that it was five stars, hit the five stars. It would help me so much. You're inside Apple, you could also type in, you know, like what you got out of it. Would love that as [00:18:00] well. And if you haven't listened to the other seasons, go back and listen to them. I have so much goodness there for you.
So have the best day and I'll see you on the next episode.
